触动

最后那两句 - “什麽是陪伴， 什麽是心安，你是答案” 真的触动我心了，我想我期盼的就是这样的一个人吧。。。

Interview Practice

Today i having my first time interview, its not the real one, just a practice session organized by my I/O tutor, Mr Andrew where i was one of the selected interviewee. It was a new experience for me which i will going through in my future to get my first job, great thing is i was experience it before i done it in real, at least i can have psychologically prepared for what it is going to be like.

The process is actually the interviewers (form by tutor and tutorial mate) asking us some question, and we have to answer it honestly, but yet i do a lot of bluffing inside, and it actually work, but spoiled by my no-confident facial expression, this is the feedback from the interviewer = =" one thing i was not realize was which Mr Andrew tell me is i was my sitting pose with hand holding, it actually shows that i was not open, not likely to revealing my information, well its true because i have no confidence on the information i giving, can't i say i telling lies in the interview right. Luckily it was just a practice, and this remind me i have to do a lot of preparation before going to an interview or i will screw it up.

In the first classes of tutorial, Mr Andrew have ask us wrote down some goal we want to achieve in semester. Well, i have written 2 things, one is to explore more job selection and another is have at least some little bit idea on where i want to/ who i want to be. Basically it is about the vocational stuff, and thanks to Mr Andrew chosen me as one of the interviewee, i manage to force myself to done some job exploration in the internet, and i saw various kind of jobs out there, and because of those variety of choices, i can't decide what i want to do...so this lead me to simply choose a job to prepare for the interview session, because of that i have no confidence on what i choosing and whether i capable to do that as well.

Since i have no much idea on what i going to be in future, i have a decision is that is just give myself a chance to try on different job, i can't know whether i am passionate or interested toward particular job until i try it out right. So, in intern i will going through next year in May, i won't stress myself up that the intern i selected will be permanent for my life. Try until i found out the right job for me! Gambateh!!

My future?

This monday i have attended a movie watching activity organized by our lecturer - Mr tan, he give us 2 movie to choose to see, and i choose watching the "3 idiots" movie, it is a bollywood movie, it talking about the learning attitude in university nowaday. the movie actually critic the studying method of students holding nowaday, it challenge us to look again what is the purpose of studying. "when you see a new word, did you get excited because you can learn new thing?" do we have such thinking when we studying? and it also inspired us to think about our vocational in future, what we want to pursue?

During the I/O tutorial class, Mr Andrew is actually sharing the interview technique and some job seeking issue, it is very practical but the problem i have is i does have any idea on what job i will going to pursue in the future which is not very long and it just around the corner. the reason of i can't have a specific job i want to pursue is i didn't do enough exploration yet, in order word which mean i am in the stage of identity moratorium.

I don't really want to be a blue collar/white collar office guy, i don't want a job which most of the time sitting and facing computer, i don't want a job where i had to hide our true self and show a fake self to the others, i don't want to deal with people in a tricky way. i want a job which can go many where, is a helping profession, is meaningful, is not money-oriented, i wander what kind of this job would be? Anyway, the internship is coming soon, it is a chance for me to do an exploration instead of sitting here, and thinking about some unrealistic job, first thing first, i have to at least able to survive by myself before i can talking about all these thing right?

My Social Side

Today after dinner with friends, we having some talk, one thing we talk about is we want to expand our social network. i think it is a great idea as my social network is quite small, and most of the time i hanging with one group of people, dealing with stranger is not my expertise but one thing i know as compare to my previous life, after i come to kampar study psychology, my social network is somehow expanding, truthfully social with people do make me feel good.

i found that i only start to realize my social side when i start came to kampar, i saw different people, most of them have good socialize skill, they able to mix well with people, this is what i kind of lack of, especially when it come to dealing with girl, haha. honestly speaking, i feel more open and comfortable and relax when i staying with same sex friends, i able to talk more, express myself more, but when came to opposite sex friends, most of the time i will stay quiet, one of the reason is i dunno how to communicate with them and i not familiar with them. during those moment, i will focus more on myself, it makes me more nervous, uncomfortable, and would run away from that, and it make me feel inferior to my self-image, where i would unconsciously believe that my face full of pimple will cause them lost interest toward me, thus lower my self esteem even more.

Basically, this situation is mostly happen when dealing with new person, after i go along with the person, the situation with get better actually. but the problem is i less take initiative to give chance to myself to go along with them. eventually this is the reason why i have less close opposite sex friends lo...

I know that if i want to make a different to my life, i have to overcome these and expand my social network, staying with people will somehow distract my focus on myself toward other people. After all, this is consequences that i facing after living too deep with computer during my adolescence age which make me lame when come to the issue of socializing. But i doesn't think this is is a bad experience for me, at least it let me having more peaceful emotion during my young days.

星光7

今天提早去睡的時候，突然觉得胸口很闷，翻来覆去的没法睡，没办法早睡只好作罢了。

无事可做，只好玩玩卡丁车，看看别人的影片观摩观摩技术，可是不久又闷了，囧。

过后随意点点这点点那的，就点甲霸银银的博客，看了看星光7 44强的决定赛的讲评，看了看，发现有喜欢的勒!

第一个就是11岁的小妹妹 - 常佳宁，来至北京的，由爸爸陪伴着来台湾比赛，唱张雨生的我期待， GOOD！ 很好听，嗓子很干净，唱出自己的风格，很期待她往后的表现啊， 加油， 常小妹妹！

第二位要说的就是25岁的黄如琦，背着一个大包包+一把吉他就上台演唱她的自创曲 - 为什麽， 真特别，很有特色啊！不知为什麽看了她的外貌就觉得很有缘，据甲霸银银，这就是选手的观众缘。另一个原因我想是因为我昨天刚看了初恋红豆冰这部戏，里面女主角由李心洁演的恰好也是这样的短发造型，所以感觉特别亲切，很期待她往后还会带来更多的自创曲，当然最重要的我对她的大改造很感兴趣，呵呵，所以 加油吧！

除了这两位我特别喜欢的，当然还有些选手也不错的，比如说来至我的家乡-马来西亚的李佳薇，彭楚茵和陳美嬌，陳美嬌是位印裔的，由华人家庭收养的，所以会中文的，表现可圈可点，加油！而彭楚茵则是位很有气质的美女，声音也柔柔的，不错。李佳薇呢也不错，会唱，外表挺可爱的，所以也加油吧！期待你们为马来西亚争光！

另外还有两个很会唱的美女 - 许惟婷和Erika，不多介绍了，都加油吧！

最后附上她们的比赛的影片：

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQQNa5qE2rE （常佳宁小妹妹）

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WIgNdqGRyI （带着背包的黄如琦）

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxqKwLtq4kM (彭楚茵和陳美嬌)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_MBXGeQPPc (李佳薇)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQuYn2qdZ3k (许惟婷和Erika)

PS: 话说就在刚刚不小心按了叉键，顿时傻眼了，文章还没上啊，就这样没了？？幸好过后发现blogspot有自动save的功能，关了会存入draft里，被自己的白痴摆了一道，真好笑啊 ^^"

人生中第一部车啊 ！！！

刚买了一辆车子，此车呢具备了第六代SR引擎，不仅速度佳，手感佳，稳定佳，外形也拥有着凤凰的曲线，简直就是好车一部啊！说了这么多，阿那照片呢？

咦？这什麽咚咚啊，不就是部游戏车嘛，哈哈哈 受骗了吧，偶可没能力购买一部真车啊。

其实啊最近迷上了这款叫 跑跑卡丁车 的游戏，因为呢爱上了竞速模式，忍受不了游戏里的有限期又烂的金币车，所以决定一劳永逸，用真钱买部无限期的车子来玩，刚巧更新就出了这部车，外加评测不错，就忍痛买了，用了60大元， 好贵啊 OOXX

庆幸果然没投资错误，开一开新车就刷新了以往的记录，赞 赞 赞

最后，谁有兴趣要玩这游戏的话，就找我吧，我是玩台湾版的，我可是慎重推荐这五颗星的游戏 XD

此刻的想法

最近呢朋友们都在家里逗留至很夜，身为主人的我，客人还在的话，当然不好意思自己去睡咯，所以也就陪他们一起熬咯，结果让他们认为自己很厉害呢，都不会累的，仔细想想为什麽会有自己是主人的想法呢，或许自己并不认同他们是一家人吧，至少不是同住在一起，所以谈不上一家人吧，有点固执的脑子啊，当然自己也可下些逐客令或者催他们睡觉的，可是却没这么做，所以也不能怪别人咯，是自己羞于表达想法，因为是朋友嘛，也受过对方不少的恩惠，不过却也想让对方尊敬下自己，真是矛盾啊。（无奈）

嗯，学习了

今天发生了件挺严重的事，咱们把老师给气哭走了，好吧，这是咱们的错，认了。 当时发生得挺莫名其妙的，突然就爆发了，让咱们全班顿时傻眼了，不过这事倒是让我们都起了内疚心，看来老师这计真挺高明的，不得陷也得陷了，好吧，警钟被敲醒了，反省下我们确实太过分了，上课仅顾着玩乐，该做的没做好，难怪别人要发飙啦 = =" 突然发现自己的学习态度严重出现问题，自己根本就没心学习啊，把学习的责任都抛到脑后了，该检讨检讨了，不然这学期没3.0就去了啦 ><

另外，从这件事也让我对一位朋友有点刮目相看了，他能勇敢地用不伤人的方式向他的朋友指出他的错误，这点是我所缺乏的，而另一朋友呢却让我明白了一些道理，人都是自私的，这乃是天性，仔细观察周围的朋友，他们各自都有些自私的一面，不管是口中说的多么为人着想，其实也不过是为了自己啊，当然这也包括我自己，所以啊自私是人的本性，这点是必须要接受的，这样就能理解自私背后的那份爱自己的心情，这行为并没有任何错误，错的只是我们抱怨别人的自私，而忘了自己也不过如此，所以当你觉得周围的人自私时，请别抱怨，先想想自私背后的理由，这样就能释怀了，或许，要活得坦然的第一件要事就是接受这观念啊，这样才会学习为自己为对方制造一个双赢局面啊 :)

教训啊。。。

这次考试中，又重复了之前的错误，别人说最重要的是知错能改，可我却明知故犯，考试里有一科几乎可说是交白卷，虽然有一两小题有读到的，可也不过是大概地读过，要写出来却是要犯难了，当时觉得挺恼恨的，恼恨的不是为什麽考试没读书，而是在恼恨自己从一开始就没在这科目下功夫，以致对这科完全没什麽概念，到最后才临时抱佛脚又有何用呢？

在考完了这科后的这些天里，心情都挺低落的，完全不能投入当下，虽然偶尔会被从事的活动吸引注意力，可一旦过了，考试的事依旧涌现，焦虑着自己将耽误往后的课程了，落后他人了，就这样焦虑了几天，想想也不能这样的，告诉自己随遇而安吧，瞎担心也没用的，兵来将挡，水来土掩就好了，谁叫我当初不用功呢，现在后悔已迟了，现在该想的是，下学期要如何改变自己的读书方式，和克服自己的惰性，需要给自己设下什麽样的目标方为上策啊!

希望这次是最后一次的教训了。。。

A Pray for myself

Next week is my final exam, but i still haven prepare well for it. From last week til now, my lifestyle haven been turning upside down, say truthfully, it make me feel down, it doesn't look good at all! hate it for somehow, but no one i can blame, the person that i can blame is only myself, the one who can keep his word is me, the one who refuse to take responsibility is me, the one who let himself like this is ME also ! so i pray to myself, look into you and find the strength inside you, you can do it, dun grumble, just do it! yea, you can do it ! Stay strong, don't let those negative feeling take you down, you have to take initiative to lead your life~

Crazy sushi experience

For the last tuesday, i have go down ipoh with my fren, we have seen the movie- Crash of the Titan. it really is a good movie, very entertaining and excited due to the stunning effect although the story line is a bit classical...but still it is very practical compare to the future cop movie, which having a rubbish storyline and effect....

after movie, we going to try our luck to sushi king, luckily the line is not long and we just wait for about 20min. There are promotion on held in the sushi king which is only RM 2 for all the sushi plate ! wao ! because of this promotion we are take the sushi as many as possible until our table is full....we eat like a person who starve for 3 days....it was really really fun eating all the sushi with RM 2 per plate, enjoying all the sushi we not eat before and eat as many as my stomach can hold...we can't experience it during the normal price rate as it is very expensive...what a crap...

so in the end we are taken 80 plate of sushi....!!my stomach is round like a pregnant woman....how silly was i, enjoy til suffering myself but never mind it is my first time experience the promotion, sure i gotta enjoy the full benefit right....but after this, i think i won't visit the sushi king for quite a long time le....hahahaha


this is just the first round...still alot of plates after it !!

V pose~

accidentally eaten the wasabi sushi ><

taking pic with ah ma~( who's hand is that?)

see the amount of plate we taken @.@

A memorable trip

For the last Saturday, i went to a trip visiting the day care center and the salvation army boys home. It was an educational trip organized by our counseling lecturer and the committee from our course. In the morning, we visit The day care center, it actually is a center for those female who are recover from mentally sick, and also some who are still sick. although it is establish for female, they also accepting daily care for male patient which they come in day and back at night.

The residents inside is just looks like ordinary people, some of the even have children, they come in because their family member having difficulties take care of them. . They have freedom inside there, not much restriction for those who are recovered, just they have to take their medicine on time and take part in the activity inside the center. They can go outside with the permission of the staff. And ya they are not staying their for free, instead they are charged a monthly fee by center according to their financial status.

one thing i feel very impress that residents inside have their own skill, some of them are good in gardening, some of them are good in dancing, some of them is good on ceramic craft. They are independent, washing their own cloth and keeping their staying place clean. They said they are very happy staying in there, some of them staying there for a long time up to 10yr, they take it as their home and dun want to go back when they have chance to do so.

At first the center officer give us a brief talk about the center and then we have to join in the gym exercise session with the residents, i have to admit that they are good in dancing and i can't follow their steps>< After that, the counselor which in charge to the center, give us some learning about her jobs, there are few things i learn from her is that she said when you feel that you are out of focus toward the client's talking, change your pose, and learn to listen to your parents, it is the foundation on learning listening skills.

Next, we having our lunch at Bercham food court, the food there is damn nice especially the hong kong chu chang fen, and the langkap pau, yummy~ then we continue our visit to the salvation army boys home. It is a home for those single parent kids, their age group is between 6 to 16 yrs old. At first, we are introducing each other, then we are playing games together, the first game is the dancing, quite a childish dance move prepared by us, and it only attract the interest of the younger kid there, those who are in secondary school are not interested on it, they just see the show beside, and then forced to join in....feel sorry for them...then the next game is holding hand randomly and make into a circle without loose the hand. then we have some improv game, i enjoy it very much, and it is the happiest time compare to previous game....XD

honestly speaking, when at the salvation army there, i didn't interact much with the kids there, so in the result i didn't get approach much too...quite a realistic and sad moments after think back...^^" but even at the normal circumstances, i also quite less interact with people, especially for those who i not close with....they reason i can think of it is i lack of confident and i am a passive person.this is not a good habit so i have to learn to be more initiative.

In this trip i have seen quite alot of things that i haven seen before, and i glad i have the experience on it, it helping me on deciding which career field which i going join in industrial training. I have knew that i prefer to deal with normal people compare to those who are sick...and another thing is that i wonder am i suit to be a counselor?

here is the link of some picture taken during the trip.
http://www.facebook.com/#!/album.php?id=555742893&aid=163339&s=0&hash=f3c4f7cac172c7d3f134f3d43a8ada6d

Being silly

i just found myself being so silly for such a long time, i keep searching and changing blog host without doing much research, i just judging each one with the template that coming along, how silly was i! There are so much customized template out there, and i didn't know about it because of my info less sigh!


Now i have switch all my blog post in Wordpress over here, why i giving up Wordpress now is because most of it feature require some paid, but yet it actually it is better than Blogspot in term of feature if only you paid for it, so in conclusion it is very good for marketer, or so call soho, who want use blog as their business site. Since i just want to blogging for personal use, so i decided to use Blogspot again.

Finally, i have learn that you are making yourself silly if you are not make yourself well informed. Again i such a silly~

杂记

刚喝了杯何人茶，因这两天病了，喉咙痛+咳+头痛， 不过现在好很多了，只是喉咙痒痒的，一直咳罢了，现在的感觉很好，难得有种忙中偷闲的感觉，身心松懈了些，这些天为赶assignment，让自己身和心 都处于紧绷的状态，听不到内心的声音，变得挺浮躁的，，人事物一有不如愿的就觉得不耐烦，心里一直在批评，真是的。。。不懂自己伤了别人，如果有，那在这 里道歉了，也感激那些受到我的发泄，脾气的，呵呵

刚回想起我的今年的生日愿望都还没想好，正好现在有了，那就是把自己肚子上那层恶心的肉给去了，真是太难看了，一定要勤做运动了，我可不想做个带着 肚腩的树枝啊，丑死了！

自从吃完了医生开的doxycline胶囊，脸上都没再长很多痘痘了（虽然今天长了一颗小痘痘），现在脸上只剩下些痘痘印了，不过是会随时间消失 的，很开心，只要不狂长痘痘就什麽都不怕，哈哈哈，很期待光滑的脸到临啊～呵呵呵呵

点燃幸福

刚在TED那里看了 “斯 瑞库马·拉奥：将幸福嵌入你的内心”，他提到世界上是没有什麽东西能真正让人幸福的，感受幸福是人与生俱来的能力，但为什麽我们却感受不到呢？因 为我们在生命中一直在学习不幸福，不快乐， 我们一直抱着这样的一个观念，如果我得到某些东西，拥有某些东西，然后就会快乐，如果没成功得到这些东西，那我们就不快乐，这是拉奥所讲的心智模式。

我们不接受我们现在生活上遇到的事情，我们想改变这些事情的结果（outcome） 来符合自己的要求，一旦我们想改变结果 ，那我们就会陷入这个“如果–就”的模式里。拉奥提到“行动（Action）是我们能掌控的，结果（Outcome）是我们不能掌控的”，所以我们要做的 不是去专注于结果，把自己全部能力投注在这结果（invest in outcome）上，而是投资在过程（invest in progress）里。只要在过程中尽了全力，那不论结果是于自己所愿或不是所愿的，都是令人愉快的！

看了拉奥的演讲，对自己做了些反思，自己恰好就有个“如果–就”模式的思维 – 如果我能找到自己真正的兴趣所在，那就会激发我的热情，我就会快乐，进而让我的人生得到改变。这个思维模式让我至今依然对生活，周遭缺乏热忱，拉奥说没有 什麽东西能使人产生激情的，激情应该存在于人心，而我却在依赖外界来激发我的激情，那时多么的可笑啊！所以从今天起，要自己将自己的激情点燃，然后学习重 新学习invest in progress这个在我们逐渐成长中所遗忘的能力。

紧迫

随着年龄的增长，开始感觉到来至未来的紧迫感，

对玩乐开始感到厌倦，也对只会玩乐的自己深感惭愧，

看着双二的自己，再来两年就毕业了，那时也就二十四了，

可是现在自己连一技之长都没有，对理想还迷茫，对未来还懵懂，

男人，三十而立，这三十说慢也不慢，一眨眼就到了，

好了，抱怨到此为止了，如果说不想三十的自己一事无成，

那就从现在开始，积极生活！加油喔！！ ：）

只为今天

现在是早晨6点钟，刚吃东西回来，现在呢要继续啃书了，因为明天又有个考试，可是吃饱了就感 觉有点困了@.@

刚看了这样一篇文章，里面有一段很有意思的：

—–

只为今天

这是一个快乐的秘方，如果我们能照着做，就能消除大部分的忧虑，而大量地增加“生活上的快乐”。

只为今天，我要很快乐。

只为今天，我要让自己适应一切，而不是试着调整一切来适应我的欲望。

只为今天，我要爱护我的身体，多加运动，善自照顾珍惜。

只为今天，我要加强我的思想，丰富我的知识。

只为今天，我要做个讨人喜欢的人，外表要尽量修饰，衣着尽量得体，行动优雅，丝毫不在乎别人的毁誉。对任何事都不挑毛病，，也不干涉或教训别人。

只为今天，我要试着只考虑怎么度过今天，而不把我一生的问题都一次解决。

只为今天，我要定下一个计划，至少可以免除两种缺点：过分仓促和犹豫不决

只为今天，我要为自己留下安静的半个钟头，轻松一番。

只为今天，我要心中毫无惧怕，尤其是不要怕快乐。我要去欣赏美的一切，去爱，去相信我爱的那些人会爱我。

——

自己应该尝试这样的生活态度，只为今天，这样才能真正的活在当下，不被过去和未来所纠缠，心获得自由。

好吧！决定了，就试试这样吧，醒来就告诉自己 – 只为今天！

即兴即随意

前篇提到要改变下千 遍一律的生活，结果昨天就和housemate来个久违了的jogging，本来是计划今早的，可是昨天傍晚回家看着漂亮的天气，毫不犹豫的就决定去跑步 了，看来自己是个挺喜欢即兴的人。

这样随心情做事到底好不好呢，我不知道，往往计划好的事都会被突起而来的意 外给煲汤的，这些意外却都是些无关要紧的，比如说，累啦，没心情啦，懒惰啦等等，可是就是这些不痛不痒的理由让自己没法按照计划行事。看来本性既如此，我 是挺难能老老实实的按部就班的，按既定的计划行事。

既然这样，我就好好发挥我的即兴本事就好了，计划多了反而成了阻碍，没按照 计划，又会自责，那倒不如不计划更好呢？即兴不久也是一种生活方式吗？流动式的生活方式才是最适合我的，规律的生活对我来说是件挺难实现的事，坚持个两三 天就破功了，遜透了！

以往的我，一旦没按计划行事，生活不如计划中的规律，都会觉得挺自责的，现 在发现这些自责不但在浪费能量，也在打击自己的自信心，既然规律的生活自己坚持不来，那就别勉强好了，所谓的生活方式不就是为了让自己感到最自在，最舒服 的吗，所以啊，随性就好，计划只不过是提供参考的工具，人啊还是随遇而安就好了，体验生活而不是被生活限制的。

充电

生活最近呈现一片死气沉沉的，

千遍一律的生活，毫无朝气的生活，

娱乐不再觉得是娱乐，玩乐也感觉不到快乐，

网络不再觉得充实，甚至吃饭也成了件极无聊的事，

经常感觉疲倦，是身心的疲倦，对生活感到疲倦了。

看来得自己积极点给自己充充电，打破千遍一律的生活，

改变就从现在起吧！加油啊！！