today just attended the last personality lecture class, i am glad that i attend the class based on my own will but not conform to my peer which usually absent...we have done a nice activities during the class where all of us tie a manila card at our back and we write comments to each other's card.
it actually quite a paiseh moment for me since i am the senior who repeat the subject and i not so know most of the junior out there, but luckily have a good start with my group mate where they are one of the least persons i know in the class. i was glad that i have took the initiative to involve in the child camp, so at least all the junior is look familiar for me. during the commenting time, i actually feel paiseh when seeing other people get so much comment from each other and they are close to each other althought i also got comments also, but when comparing to others, it is quite less. there the time where i start feel the lonely and uninvolved feeling i not so familiar with. this feeling i have experienced it before during my form 6 in secondary school when i saw my friends perform shine in the stage during the convocation ceremony, it is a regret for me until now for being not involved. eventually, this is the reason that push me to take initiate to involve in so many events and activities in this semester.
however, the feeling come to me unexpectedly. it not because i regret of not participant much enough events but is come from the uninvolved deeply in the relationship with others. i do admit i am a introvert and low self-confident person where my low self-confident is mainly cause by my physical appearance where i have a lot of pimples. i know physical appearance is not the main part of self-esteem but somehow it keep distracting me whenever i try to take initiative socialize with new peoples. so, i promise hard to myself this time, get rid of these pimples before my graduated. it not because i will become handsome if not pimples but it is because it can prove that i am capable to change the thing that i can change! what makes tomorrow is today's action..
basically, this semester is really a big step for me as i have take initiative to involve in many activities that i never experience before. although i still have done a lot of mistake but it is a big improvement to me. i will improve more in future! Add Oil!! Kambing!!!
