My Social Side

Today after dinner with friends, we having some talk, one thing we talk about is we want to expand our social network. i think it is a great idea as my social network is quite small, and most of the time i hanging with one group of people, dealing with stranger is not my expertise but one thing i know as compare to my previous life, after i come to kampar study psychology, my social network is somehow expanding, truthfully social with people do make me feel good.

i found that i only start to realize my social side when i start came to kampar, i saw different people, most of them have good socialize skill, they able to mix well with people, this is what i kind of lack of, especially when it come to dealing with girl, haha. honestly speaking, i feel more open and comfortable and relax when i staying with same sex friends, i able to talk more, express myself more, but when came to opposite sex friends, most of the time i will stay quiet, one of the reason is i dunno how to communicate with them and i not familiar with them. during those moment, i will focus more on myself, it makes me more nervous, uncomfortable, and would run away from that, and it make me feel inferior to my self-image, where i would unconsciously believe that my face full of pimple will cause them lost interest toward me, thus lower my self esteem even more.

Basically, this situation is mostly happen when dealing with new person, after i go along with the person, the situation with get better actually. but the problem is i less take initiative to give chance to myself to go along with them. eventually this is the reason why i have less close opposite sex friends lo...

I know that if i want to make a different to my life, i have to overcome these and expand my social network, staying with people will somehow distract my focus on myself toward other people. After all, this is consequences that i facing after living too deep with computer during my adolescence age which make me lame when come to the issue of socializing. But i doesn't think this is is a bad experience for me, at least it let me having more peaceful emotion during my young days.