Interview Practice

Today i having my first time interview, its not the real one, just a practice session organized by my I/O tutor, Mr Andrew where i was one of the selected interviewee. It was a new experience for me which i will going through in my future to get my first job, great thing is i was experience it before i done it in real, at least i can have psychologically prepared for what it is going to be like.

The process is actually the interviewers (form by tutor and tutorial mate) asking us some question, and we have to answer it honestly, but yet i do a lot of bluffing inside, and it actually work, but spoiled by my no-confident facial expression, this is the feedback from the interviewer = =" one thing i was not realize was which Mr Andrew tell me is i was my sitting pose with hand holding, it actually shows that i was not open, not likely to revealing my information, well its true because i have no confidence on the information i giving, can't i say i telling lies in the interview right. Luckily it was just a practice, and this remind me i have to do a lot of preparation before going to an interview or i will screw it up.

In the first classes of tutorial, Mr Andrew have ask us wrote down some goal we want to achieve in semester. Well, i have written 2 things, one is to explore more job selection and another is have at least some little bit idea on where i want to/ who i want to be. Basically it is about the vocational stuff, and thanks to Mr Andrew chosen me as one of the interviewee, i manage to force myself to done some job exploration in the internet, and i saw various kind of jobs out there, and because of those variety of choices, i can't decide what i want to do...so this lead me to simply choose a job to prepare for the interview session, because of that i have no confidence on what i choosing and whether i capable to do that as well.

Since i have no much idea on what i going to be in future, i have a decision is that is just give myself a chance to try on different job, i can't know whether i am passionate or interested toward particular job until i try it out right. So, in intern i will going through next year in May, i won't stress myself up that the intern i selected will be permanent for my life. Try until i found out the right job for me! Gambateh!!

My future?

This monday i have attended a movie watching activity organized by our lecturer - Mr tan, he give us 2 movie to choose to see, and i choose watching the "3 idiots" movie, it is a bollywood movie, it talking about the learning attitude in university nowaday. the movie actually critic the studying method of students holding nowaday, it challenge us to look again what is the purpose of studying. "when you see a new word, did you get excited because you can learn new thing?" do we have such thinking when we studying? and it also inspired us to think about our vocational in future, what we want to pursue?

During the I/O tutorial class, Mr Andrew is actually sharing the interview technique and some job seeking issue, it is very practical but the problem i have is i does have any idea on what job i will going to pursue in the future which is not very long and it just around the corner. the reason of i can't have a specific job i want to pursue is i didn't do enough exploration yet, in order word which mean i am in the stage of identity moratorium.

I don't really want to be a blue collar/white collar office guy, i don't want a job which most of the time sitting and facing computer, i don't want a job where i had to hide our true self and show a fake self to the others, i don't want to deal with people in a tricky way. i want a job which can go many where, is a helping profession, is meaningful, is not money-oriented, i wander what kind of this job would be? Anyway, the internship is coming soon, it is a chance for me to do an exploration instead of sitting here, and thinking about some unrealistic job, first thing first, i have to at least able to survive by myself before i can talking about all these thing right?

My Social Side

Today after dinner with friends, we having some talk, one thing we talk about is we want to expand our social network. i think it is a great idea as my social network is quite small, and most of the time i hanging with one group of people, dealing with stranger is not my expertise but one thing i know as compare to my previous life, after i come to kampar study psychology, my social network is somehow expanding, truthfully social with people do make me feel good.

i found that i only start to realize my social side when i start came to kampar, i saw different people, most of them have good socialize skill, they able to mix well with people, this is what i kind of lack of, especially when it come to dealing with girl, haha. honestly speaking, i feel more open and comfortable and relax when i staying with same sex friends, i able to talk more, express myself more, but when came to opposite sex friends, most of the time i will stay quiet, one of the reason is i dunno how to communicate with them and i not familiar with them. during those moment, i will focus more on myself, it makes me more nervous, uncomfortable, and would run away from that, and it make me feel inferior to my self-image, where i would unconsciously believe that my face full of pimple will cause them lost interest toward me, thus lower my self esteem even more.

Basically, this situation is mostly happen when dealing with new person, after i go along with the person, the situation with get better actually. but the problem is i less take initiative to give chance to myself to go along with them. eventually this is the reason why i have less close opposite sex friends lo...

I know that if i want to make a different to my life, i have to overcome these and expand my social network, staying with people will somehow distract my focus on myself toward other people. After all, this is consequences that i facing after living too deep with computer during my adolescence age which make me lame when come to the issue of socializing. But i doesn't think this is is a bad experience for me, at least it let me having more peaceful emotion during my young days.